The Love Itself: Finding the Strength to Forgive Through Prayer
“Give us today our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors” (Matthew 6:11-12, NIV).
Few stories illustrate the power of forgiveness through prayer like Corrie Ten Boom’s. During World War II, Corrie and her family bravely hid Jews in their small watch shop and home in Haarlem, Holland. Their courage saved lives, but betrayal led to imprisonment in a Nazi concentration camp.
Corrie survived, and years later, she traveled the world sharing a message of God’s forgiveness. One evening, after speaking in a church, a man stepped forward. She recognized him instantly—he had been a guard at the very camp where she had suffered. He reached out his hand.
In that moment, Corrie froze. Her heart raced with the weight of memories and pain. How could she forgive? She prayed silently, asking God for the strength. As she extended her hand, she later wrote that she felt a surge of God’s love, overwhelming her heart with compassion.
Corrie’s story captures the very heart of forgiveness: it’s not something we conjure up in our own strength. It’s something God supplies when we ask. Prayer becomes the pathway to forgiveness, and through it, God gives us not only the command but also the love itself.
Let’s explore what makes forgiveness so hard, why we struggle with it, and how prayer can lead us into the freedom of forgiving others.
When Forgiveness Feels Impossible
The truth is, most of us don’t find forgiveness easy. Someone wounds us deeply—through betrayal, rejection, cruelty, or neglect—and we carry the weight for months, years, sometimes even decades.
The problem is not just the wrong that was done but the lingering hold it has on our hearts. Resentment builds. Anger festers. And bitterness hardens into chains.
Like Corrie, we may stand in front of someone who wronged us and feel utterly powerless to forgive. That’s the problem: forgiveness feels like a mountain too steep to climb on our own.
Why Forgiveness Feels Out of Reach
There are a few reasons forgiveness feels so difficult:
- We confuse forgiveness with forgetting. We think if we forgive, we’re excusing the wrong. But forgiveness doesn’t erase memory—it releases the hold it has on us.
- We want justice on our terms. Deep down, we think holding onto bitterness ensures justice. But in reality, it poisons us while leaving the other person unchanged.
- We rely on our own strength. Forgiveness requires a supernatural love we simply don’t have on our own. Left to ourselves, we run out of grace quickly.
- The hurt feels too deep. Some wounds cut so sharply that the very idea of forgiving feels impossible. Without God’s intervention, it probably is.
How Prayer Helps Us Forgive
The beauty of Corrie’s story is that she didn’t walk away thinking, I must be strong enough. Instead, she prayed. And through prayer, she received the strength to do what she couldn’t do herself.
Here are some of the ways prayer transforms the process of forgiveness:
1. Prayer Shifts the Burden to God
When we pray, we place our hurt into God’s hands. Romans 12:19 reminds us: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay, says the Lord.” Prayer allows us to stop playing judge and start trusting God’s justice.
2. Prayer Softens the Heart
It’s hard to pray for someone and remain hardened toward them. Over time, praying for your enemy opens your heart to see them as God does—not excusing their actions, but recognizing their humanity.
3. Prayer Invites God’s Love Into Our Wounds
Like Corrie described, God provides the “love itself.” Prayer is how we invite that love in. Forgiveness doesn’t come from our own limited reservoir—it flows from God’s endless supply.
Practical Steps to Forgive Through Prayer
Forgiveness isn’t a one-time event; it’s often a process. Here are steps you can take, rooted in prayer, to move toward freedom:
- Be Honest With God
Tell Him exactly how you feel. Pour out the pain, anger, and even hatred if that’s what’s there. He can handle your honesty. Prayer is not about pretending but about bringing the raw truth to God. - Ask for the Willingness to Forgive
Sometimes we don’t even want to forgive. That’s okay—start by asking God to give you the desire. Philippians 2:13 promises that God works in us “to will and to act in order to fulfill His good purpose.” - Pray for Your Enemy
This is perhaps the hardest step, but it’s also the most transformative. Begin praying blessings over the person who hurt you. It may feel forced at first, but God uses prayer to reshape your heart. - Release Control Daily
Forgiveness isn’t usually instant. Each day, pray: “God, I release this person into Your hands.” Over time, those words chip away at bitterness. - Anchor in Scripture
Hold onto verses that remind you of God’s forgiveness toward you. Ephesians 4:32 says: “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
The Benefits of Forgiveness
When we walk in forgiveness through prayer, the benefits reach every corner of our lives:
- Freedom from Bitterness: Resentment no longer chains you to the past.
- Peace of Mind: You stop replaying the offense in your thoughts.
- Restored Fellowship with God: Forgiveness clears barriers between you and Him.
- Emotional Healing: Wounds begin to close when you stop reopening them with bitterness.
- A Witness to the World: Forgiving when it seems impossible points others to Christ’s power.
Corrie Ten Boom’s handshake with her former guard didn’t just heal her heart—it bore witness to the watching world that God’s love is stronger than hate.
Forgiveness Through Prayer: Your Next Step
Forgiveness will never feel easy. On our own, it’s impossible. But through prayer, God gives us what we lack: His love, His mercy, His strength.
If you’re struggling to forgive, start here:
- Tell God your hurt.
- Ask Him for the willingness to forgive.
- Pray for the person who hurt you.
- Release them daily into His care.
- Hold fast to the truth of Scripture.
And remember, forgiveness is not about excusing the wrong. It’s about choosing freedom in Christ over bondage to bitterness.
Corrie Ten Boom discovered that God doesn’t just command forgiveness, He provides the love itself. And that same love is available to you.
A Prayer for Today
Lord, You know the wounds in my heart and the bitterness I’ve carried. I admit I cannot forgive in my own strength. Please fill me with Your Spirit. Give me the willingness to forgive and the love I cannot create on my own. Release me from resentment, and let Your love flow through me. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Forgiveness feels impossible when we rely on ourselves. But through prayer, God provides not only the command to forgive but also the love itself.
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